Humpty Dumped

The Edmonton Zoo's rendition.
Terrifying youngsters for decades!

Today, join me as I again explore the wondrous—and often confusing—world of the Nursery Rhyme:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again. 

Hmmm…where to start? Where to start? I mean, first of all, who is this Humpty character? I don’t know about you but I find the name more than a little—irregular. Doesn’t it suggest a rather physically-hunched person who suffers from agility impairment? 

I’m pretty sure you’ve all assumed—understandably so, due to common portrayals—that Mr. Dumpty is some sort of anthropomorphic egg. But please allow me to point out that nowhere in this strange, little verse is that mentioned. Read it. No eggs. None. 

So what we have is an irregularly-shaped, nimbly-challenged person who seems to have a penchant for sitting on walls. And that brings me to my next point. Why a wall? I mean, were there no chairs? Benches? A stool, for heaven’s sake? 

I find this disturbing. I mean, call me maladroit, but please understand that I struggle to remain safely seated when perched upon anything that doesn’t have four sturdy legs at the very least. With preferably a back and sides. And maybe a seatbelt. 

Was he, perhaps, sitting up there on the lookout for something? And, just throwing this out, but wouldn’t that make him—I don’t know—rather noticeable? A look-out easily spotted by whom he’s looking for if he (or she) just happens to…erm…look out? 

Okay, yeah. I didn’t follow that either.

Ahem…

And then we come to the part where he falls.

Falls. Off said wall that he was perched upon. Hands up anyone who didn’t see this coming.

Remember, when I mentioned ‘chair’? And ‘seatbelt’?

That. 

And it seems to be a rather messy fall as well. We’re talking pieces here. Just how high was that wall? Great Wall of China tall? Cause, let’s face it—slipping off any walls hereabouts may break a bone, but that’s about it. 

And now to the front-line responders. Would they have done better if their horses weren’t involved? I mean, I love horses, but there are definitely a couple of things missing if one is calling upon them to perform delicate surgery. Dexterity. Brains. Hands.

Indeed, wouldn’t they—even with the best of intentions and connections (they were the King’s horses, remember?)—have just been in the way? I can just picture it. Doctor: “Disinfect the area.” Horse: “Snort.” Doctor: “Hand me the scalpel!” Horse: Stamps three times. 

I think we need a do-over. One that addresses especially the issues of safety/reality:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a chair,

Humpty Dumpty felt so safe there,

All the King’s horses and all the King’s men

Waved happily at Humpty as they rode by. 

I think it’s better…

Today’s post is a writing challenge. Each month one of the participating bloggers picks a number between 12 and 50. All bloggers taking part are then challenged to write using that exact number of words in their post either once or multiple times. 

This month’s word count number is: 43

It was chosen by: Me! 

Links to the other Word Counters posts:

Baking In A Tornado  

Messymimi’s Meanderings