Wee Willy's Parenting Pointers

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,

Upstairs and downstairs, in his nightgown;

Rapping at the window, crying through the lock,

“Are the children in their beds?

Now it’s eight o’clock.”

 

Okay. First off, who is this ‘Willie Winkie’ guy?

With his only two descriptors: wee and in his nightgown, much is left to the imagination.

Allowing those of us with a large store of it to come up with countless possibilities…

Let’s go with the obvious. Wee and nightgown suggest to me that he is really small—perhaps a child?

And if so, how come he’s not in bed. Hmmm?

That is like the person who hands the priest a list of people who didn’t close their eyes or fold their hands reverently during a prayer at church. This always begs the question: How did he make the list?

But I digress…

We may also surmise by the whole ‘upstairs and downstairs’ scenario that Willie is very mobile, which also suggests youth.

I know if it were up to me to run upstairs and downstairs in my nightgown, exactly one household may be alerted. The rest are on their own.

And, just for the record, I don’t even appear out of my own bedroom in my nightgown. Also: as a senior, I’m probably in bed long before the children.

So there’s that.

Now, the whole ‘rapping at the window’ part.

If anyone rapped at my window, it would wake me from a coma.

So what window is Willie knocking at? If it’s the children’s, I’m coming out with a baseball bat.

Just sayin’.

And the whole ‘calling through the lock’? Okay, yes, the old locks were basically holes in the door. The modern day lock is not in the least conducive to being called through. Or even shouted.

Ever tried it?

You can take my word.

And if anyone is calling through the hole in my door, I’m calling the cops.

And who does he think he is? Demanding that the children be in their beds by 8 o’clock?

Isn’t that a rather negative commentary on people’s parenting skills?

I mean, even a truant officer can only pick on children during the daylight hours.

True story.

So, Wee Willie Winkie, if you’re thinking of trying these games in the modern world, I can just see the outrage!

And the comments on whatever Facebook ‘discussion’ page you currently peruse.

“Did anyone else record some small dude in a dress running through your yard? My alarm system went off right around 8 PM last night right in the middle of Desperate Housewives and this is what it caught:

[Follows: grainy and creepy night video of someone flitting across the yard]

He was knocking on the windows and shouting something unintelligible at the front door. Scared both my cat and my kids so badly that I couldn’t get any back into bed. My camera didn’t get a clear view of his face. Did anyone else have something similar happen?

Comments?”

Yep. I can picture it well.

I think poor Wee Willie needs a modern-day do-over…

 

W. William Winkie [Ph.D/Psy.D/MFT/MFCC] works in the town,

Here on Nightgown Avenue; upstairs or down

You needn’t try the window, his door is never locked,

"Are there troubles in your home? Come in—you’re on the clock.”

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