And rich and poor alike were in the famine’s membership,
And Widow Bette and teenaged son (named Jack, for all who care…)
Were skating rather closely to the edge of starved despair.
In desperation, Bette told Jack, “Take Emily...” (their cow)
“…and sell her.” (with the proceeds, they would get along somehow),
Obedient, the young man took the cow and started out,
Not knowing that the strangest tale was just about to ‘sprout’.
A stranger stopped the lad a mile or so along the way,
And asked him ‘whither, he was to’ on such a lovely day,
Jack indicated Emily and told him what was up,
And why Jack had embarked upon this personal ‘roundup’.
I’m sure you’ve heard the story: how our Jack endorsed the sale,
A cow for ‘magic’ beans. You know, a mistake of grandest scale.
How his disappointed mother threw those beans out on the lawn,
Then cried herself to sleep believing all her hope was gone.
You have to know those beans grew up. A stalk into the sky,
And Jack thought he'd explore (and have adventures by and by),
He climbed up to another land, where all folks were immense,
And there he pilfered lots of stuff--in situations tense.
That boy, he needed stealth, because you know, our little Jack
Was just the size and shape to be a giant’s midday snack,
It didn’t stop him stealing, though it kept him on the run,
Whene’er he heard the giant’s voice say, “Fee! Fie! Foe! And Fum!"
Then finally, he took the item Giant treasured most,
(For evenings when relaxing or when parties he would host…)
A magic harp, the player of the sweetest music e’er,
Whose loss would surely fill our giant’s heart with deep despair!
The harp cried for his ‘Master!’ as Jack began to bear him hence,
It spurred our giant on to a more feverish defense,
He followed our young thief right down the beanstalk growing there,
And where the boy did lead, he neither thought about. Or cared.
But Jack was quick and reached the bottom. Turned and grabbed his axe,
Kept nearby for such things. (Now we've reached the tale's climax!)
When swinging frantically, he fin’ly chopped the stalk and all,
Not even mighty giants could survive that nasty fall.
Then Jack and Mom were happy as a family could be,
With all the stuff Jack stole they both could live quite comfortably,
Now I’ve heard theories claiming that the Giant stole them first,
The larger thief or small. Opinions? Who d’you think was worst?!
Go now and visit my sisters!
You'll be so glad you did!
You gotta root for Jack, who almost screwed up in their moment of need, but came through in the end.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I'm Team Jack, too! Especially when the background story is all about the giant stealing all of their stuff in the first place!
DeleteI'm always rooting for Jack!
ReplyDeleteTeam Jack forever!!!
DeleteSo glad Jack made it. Love your fairy tales retold with your fun, clever words!
ReplyDeleteI believe in the original story, the reason for the famine was the Giant stealing the stuff to begin, the whole land became a waste because of the loss of the magic harp and other items. Go, Jack, Go!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. Two wrongs making a right?
ReplyDelete