Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Monday, May 4, 2015

Classroom Whiskey

Okay, this is my last story about whiskey.
For a while . . .

Grade: Ten.
Age: Fifteen.
A good time to make a statement. Just be sure you are making a good statement . . .
Dad was sitting in class.
Learning.
Okay, I have my doubts, too, but he stands by the declaration.
The teacher was espousing something important. She skewered the boy seated in the desk next to Dad with a gimlet gaze. “Bill!” she said.
Bill sat up straight and tried to appear attentive. “Yes, Ma’am?”
Kids were very polite in the forties.
It was at that precise moment that Dad felt the first unmistakable twinges signalling a forthcoming sneeze.
A large one.
Silently, he opened his mouth.
“Bill, can you tell me . . .?”
The rest of the teacher’s question was completely submerged beneath the thundering sound of Dad’s sneeze. “AHHHHHHH . . . WHISKEY!!!”
Of course everyone heard.
Of course, everyone laughed.
When order was restored, they all realized that the teacher was still standing as she was, awaiting her answer.
“Erm . . .” Bill said, turning slightly pink.
“Bill? Were you considering your answer? Or were you listening to Mark sneeze.”
Bill frantically sorted his options. Finally, timidly, "C-c-could you please repeat the question?"
The teacher rolled her eyes and complied.
Dad – and everyone else – learned something from this.
Never bring whiskey into the classroom.
It’s disruptive.
Just FYI.



10 comments:

  1. AH HAHAHAHAHA! Oh man! That would be an epic sneeze to have caught on film or even tape! I guess we'll have to live with memories instead... :)

    Some days your sneeze just seems to come out sideways, and it sounds like this! Amirite?

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is hilarious....nothing more satisfying than a good big sneeze.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if you can disrupt your class with same, it's all to the good! :)

      Delete
  3. LOL on this one. Yes I can see that whiskey would be very disruptive. Love this cute one! Hugs~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely not for the classroom! :) Thanks, LeAnn!

      Delete
  4. Ha ha ha! I'm thinking your dad might have been the class clown :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're right. And yet he was such a stickler for good behaviour at home. Go figure . . .

      Delete
  5. My husband has your dad's sneeze...without the whiskey! Where ever he may be when he sneezes it is so loud I jump out of my skin. It never fails to cause him to crack up. Yes, we're weird!

    ReplyDelete

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