Don't let that innocent face fool you... |
My parents didn’t drink alcohol.
But even in such a family, the topic does come up . . .
Christmas was nearing and Mom and Dad had been in Lethbridge
all day. Shopping.
It had started out as a joyous occasion, with brightly-lit
and garishly-decorated shops to visit. Lunch at an amazing diner with marvelous
spinning stools.
That . . . spun.
Okay, they were almost a little too marvelous.
Santa to see and talk to/cry about.
Amazing piles of toys and goodies that were right at the
level of mesmerized little eyes.
Heaps of slushy snow scraped up by the grader and
specifically designed for small, booted feet.
Little bottoms that had to be repeatedly dusted off because
of the heaps of said slushy snow scraped up by the grader and specifically
designed . . . you get the picture.
Evening was nearing and, with two tired little kids in tow,
the family was standing on the street corner, mentally going over their
shopping list.
“Okay,” Mom said. “I think we’re nearly done. The only
person we have left to shop for is Jerry.”
I should probably mention, here, that the aforementioned
Jerry was now the sad and sorry little boy currently clutching his mother’s
hand. As the afternoon had worn on, and his two-year-old patience had
shortened, his opinions on everything had increased perceptibly in volume.
For a few moments, Mom and Dad discussed possibilities for
their small son.
Little ears were hearing.
Finally, Dad shrugged. “Oh, let’s just get him a bottle of
whisky!”
“Mark!” Mom didn’t think it was as funny as Dad did.
“Well, it’s getting to be supper time,” Dad said. “Let’s head home.”
The light changed and the four of them stepped, along with
scores of other people, into the street.
Suddenly, over all the noise and confusion of a city street
in the throes of ‘Christmas’ rose a piercing, small boy’s voice. “I don’t want
to go hooome! I want some whiiiisky!”
And we’re done.
aaaand now we have coffee on our screen......really Diane....you could have warned me.
ReplyDeleteSorry!
DeleteYears ago friends of my parents were embarrassed at mass. Their not yet walking son escaped and crawled at break neck speed under the pews, singing Miller HiLite, the champagne of bottled beer. He appeared at the front, rose to his knees and repeated his performance for the priest.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha! Perfect!
DeleteKids always seem to have impeccable timing. Comics should be so lucky, right?
ReplyDeleteThe when. The where. It's a gift!
DeleteHAHAHAHAHA! Sooooo funny!!
ReplyDeleteAfterwards . . . :)
DeleteIf anyone heard that today, Social Services would be called in and the kids taken away. It still would've been funny to hear that coming from a toddler.
ReplyDeleteTrue. And true!
Deleteuh-oh! Imagine the thoughts running through the minds of all who heard that--hee hee
ReplyDeleteI know what I'd be thinking . . .
DeleteWell, that'll stop traffic for sure!
ReplyDeleteIt pretty nearly did!
DeleteAnd now I'm curious as to what little Jerry really did end up getting for Christmas? Snow pants, perhaps ;)
ReplyDeleteHuh. I'll ask . . .
DeleteOh gosh! That was the cutest one. Yes, children do say the darn-est things and it is often something you have said to them.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and hugs!
Things we've said taken completely out of context and said at the perfectly wrong time! :)
DeleteI also grew up in a home with no alcohol! I've never seen my parents drink and there are only a couple of times my children have seen my husband and I drink and it was years and years ago. I can just imagine it. My dad drank a hot toddy once when he was very sick and it included whiskey we couldn't wait to tell our friends that our dad had drank whiskey!
ReplyDeleteYikes! Whiskey! :)
Delete