Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Wrong Knife

Husby is a knife connoisseur.
A bona fide expert on all things sharp and/or pointy.
He and our son have a forge in the back yard and create their own.
Give lessons.
Advice.
He could tell you the quality of the steel just by holding it. Could explain what the ‘tang’ is. (And no, it’s not a drink for astronauts.)
Soooo . . . Connoisseur and expert.
Usually, it’s a good thing.
Except when I’m cooking and using my favorite knife-for-all-occasions. The knife that fits my hand. And is sharp and pointy.
And does the job.
Inevitably as I'm working, Husby will enter the room and announce, to any who may want to hear (no one), that I am once again using the wrong knife.
The fact that he is still alive is testament to my restraint and/or his ability to stay just out of reach.
I can see the headstone now: Here Lies Husby. Stabbed With The Wrong Knife.
Moving on . . .
Today, the planets aligned.
The ‘I’s’ were dotted. The ‘T’s’ crossed.
My ducks were finally in a row.
My ship had come in.
Because Husby, he of the infinite knife wisdom, used a small paring knife to slice the block of cheese.
Eschewing the handy-dandy cheese knife sitting nearby.
His excuse? The paring knife was already dirty and he didn't want to dirty another.
The consequence? The knife broke. Just behind the stubby little tang that cheap knives are known for. (See? I was paying attention.)
But the best part - the very best part – is this:
For the first time ever, I was finally able to say, “You used the wrong knife!”
You’ll have to picture the glee and handsprings.

My day has come.
I'm buying a lottery ticket . . .

14 comments:

  1. That feeling! I know it. Enjoy it! Like catching that irritating teacher i an error, or even my husband making an error in German spelling ;) (No we're not German, and we live in Denmark.)
    On another note entirely: How I'd like to borrow your Husband. I have (or rather had) a knife, a special knife. I used it for something wrong, I broke it. I am sad, and I'm sure he could fix it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hate those inexpensive knives. My husband has taught me some things about knives, but forge your own? That is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should see his (or our son's) face when they are looking at knives in a shop. Like they're tasted something nasty. Knife-making really fun to watch when they get to the actual forging. The glowing steel. The hiss as it hits the oil.
      The grinding and behind-scenes stuff? Not so much.

      Delete
  3. Are we going to see your husby on an episode of 'Forged in Fire' on TV? My husband watches that and I confess even I have done so. It's quite fascinating!

    My husband long ago gave up sharpening our knives because I never cut myself when they are dull but as soon as they're sharp I'm bleeding all over the place, and he can't stand the sight of blood :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! I love that show!
      Yeah, Husby keeps our knives uber-sharp. Inevitably they, and me, come to cross-purposes.

      Delete
  4. Oh, love those moments in marriage. They don't come often, but when they do...

    ReplyDelete
  5. One knife fits all in Chinese style of food preparation.

    I found that on the internet....
    I never knew I was a Chinese Chef.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have a favourite knife that gets used for almost anything. Luckily for me, I know about tangs and how they should ideally run the full length of the handle and I've taught the kids too.

    ReplyDelete

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