Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Tuesday, August 18, 2020

60 and Counting

For my baby brother and all those turning this year.... I can dimly remember it...


At 60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing.
They put all 60 candles on your cake, but by the time they get the last one lit, the first twenty have already burned out.
People call you “spry” and you’re not offended.
It’s time to start yelling at the television.
Fortune tellers read your face instead of your palm.

Your favorite station on cable is the Weather Channel.
Target and Walmart is where you shop for great, stylin’ clothes.
You know your way around but you really don’t want to go anywhere. Ever.
Your wife suggests you pull in your stomach and you get a hernia doing it.
The 60 candles on your cake set off the sprinkler system.

You miss your high school car, but you can’t remember your classmates.
No More Tank Tops. It's a rule.
Your pants creep upward as you age. By 60 you’re a pair of pants with a head.
You can still chase women. Downhill.
When someone leaves you a sexy mirror lipstick message, your first reaction is how to clean it off.

Your favorite classic rock? Elevator music.
You wonder why the TV remote isn’t working, then realize it’s a cordless phone.
At the gym, you mostly do squats because of how they help you in the bathroom.
When classic movies come on, your comments are: “She’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all dead.”
Your childhood toys sell for a fortune on eBay.

The sheer quantity of gold in your mouth would make a decent retirement plan.
Your parties never even wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.
Sucking in your gut can blow the hair right off the top of your head.
When you sit and relax on a park bench, boy scouts offer to help you cross … your legs.

Not wearing a bra tugs the wrinkles right out of your face.
Just saw this headline: "Godzilla turns 60." Life was pretty good before I knew I was OLDER THAN GODZILLA.
It took me awhile, but I’m finally a 60-year-old senior. How much longer till graduation?
Two of the most important things in life are bowel movements and nose hair.

Birthday thrills: more pills, more chills, more bills.
You can start bragging about your age. How else are you going to get your senior discounts?
“Chasing girls” refers almost exclusively to granddaughters.
Turning 60? Look on the bright side: you’re still younger than Mick Jagger.
I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again. But I wouldn’t mind looking like one.



Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: each month one of the participating bloggers pick a number between 12 and 74. All bloggers taking part that month are then challenged to write using that exact number of words in their post either once or multiple times.

This month’s word count number is: 60
It was chosen by: ME!
At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what numbers they got and how they used them. 
Links to the other Word Counters posts:

8 comments:

  1. Older than Godzilla and younger than Mick Jagger, I think those two cancel each other out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Smiling. I would HATE to be a teenager again though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is true (and both spouse and I are past 60): today we passed a political lawn sign asking us to vote for "A". Turned to my husband and said "I know "A" is dead; he was a really good (title of office he held.) This must be his son." And then husband reminded me that a candidate for a different position is the son of a man who held office for many years here. Feeling really old right now.....can identify so with your post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heeheehee! Wonderful, and many happy returns of the day to your brother.

    When Brother-in-Law was still in his 30's, he complained a lot about "his colon." Then a smart lady we knew got him to stop by telling him that we know he's getting old because he talked more about his colon than his sex life. He's well over 60 now and still keeps quiet about his colon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And by now you will have seen that i nominated you for a blog award, please don't feel obligated, but your writing really does inspire me.

      Delete
  5. It will be interesting to see what you have to say when you turn 80!

    ReplyDelete
  6. These days I am a lot closer to 70 than I am to 60. I like to believe I am still spry, but most days I know I'm just fooling myself.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting! Drop by again!

Blessed by a Curse

Blessed by a Curse
My very first Medieval Romance!

God's Tree

God's Tree
For the Children

Third in the series

Third in the series
Deborah. Fugitive of Faith

The Long-Awaited Sequel to Daughter of Ishmael

The Long-Awaited Sequel to Daughter of Ishmael
A House Divided is now available at all fine bookstores and on Amazon.com and .ca!

Daughter of Ishmael

Daughter of Ishmael
Now available at Amazon.com and .ca and Chapters.ca and other fine bookstores.

Romance still wins!

Romance still wins!
First romance in a decade!

Hosts: Your Room's Ready

Hosts: Your Room's Ready
A fun romp through the world's most haunted hotel!

Follow by Email

Hugs, Delivered.

Compass Book Ratings

Compass Book Ratings

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!
New Tween Novel!

Gnome for Christmas

Gnome for Christmas
The newest in my Christmas Series

SnowMan

SnowMan
A heart warming story of love and sacrifice.

Translate

My novel, Carving Angels

My novel, Carving Angels
Read it! You know you want to!

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic
What could be better than a second Christmas story?!

Join me on Maven

Connect with me on Maven

Essence

Essence
A scientist and his son struggle to keep their earth-shattering discovery out of the wrong hands.

Essence: A Second Dose

Essence: A Second Dose
Captured and imprisoned, a scientist and his son use their amazing discovery to foil evil plans.

Looking for a Great Read?

E-Books by Diane Stringam Tolley
Available from Smashwords.com

The Babysitter

The Babysitter
A baby-kidnapping ring has its eye on J'Aime and her tiny niece.

Melissa

Melissa
Haunted by her past, Melissa must carve a future. Without Cain.

Devon

Devon
Following tragedy, Devon retreats to the solitude of the prairie. Until a girl is dropped in his lap.

Pearl, Why You Little...

Pearl, Why You Little...
Everyone should spend a little time with Pearl!

The Marketing Mentress

The Marketing Mentress
Building solid relationships with podcast and LinkedIn marketing

Coffee Row

Coffee Row
My Big Brother's Stories

Better Blogger Network

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fidelis
I've been given an award!!!

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award
My good friend and Amazing Blogger, Marcia of Menopausal Mother awarded me . . .

Irresistibly Sweet Award

Irresistibly Sweet Award
Delores, my good friend from The Feathered Nest, has nominated me!

Sunshine Award!!!

Sunshine Award!!!
My good friend Red from Oz has nominated me!!!

My very own Humorous Blogger Award From Delores at The Feathered Nest!

Be Courageous!


Grab and Add!

Search This Blog

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?