For my baby brother and all those turning this year.... I can dimly remember it...
At
60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing.
They
put all 60 candles on your cake, but by the time they get the last one lit, the
first twenty have already burned out.
People
call you “spry” and you’re not offended.
It’s
time to start yelling at the television.
Fortune
tellers read your face instead of your palm.
Your favorite station on cable is the Weather Channel.
Target and Walmart is where you shop for great, stylin’ clothes.
You know your way around but you really don’t want to go anywhere. Ever.
Your wife suggests you pull in your stomach and you get a hernia doing it.
The 60 candles on your cake set off the sprinkler system.
You miss your high school car, but you can’t remember your classmates.
No
More Tank Tops. It's a rule.
Your pants creep upward as you age. By 60 you’re a pair of pants with a head.
Your pants creep upward as you age. By 60 you’re a pair of pants with a head.
You
can still chase women. Downhill.
When someone leaves you a sexy mirror lipstick message, your first reaction is how to clean it off.
When someone leaves you a sexy mirror lipstick message, your first reaction is how to clean it off.
Your
favorite classic rock? Elevator music.
You wonder why the TV remote isn’t working, then realize it’s a cordless phone.
You wonder why the TV remote isn’t working, then realize it’s a cordless phone.
At
the gym, you mostly do squats because of how they help you in the bathroom.
When classic movies come on, your comments are: “She’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all dead.”
Your childhood toys sell for a fortune on eBay.
When classic movies come on, your comments are: “She’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all dead.”
Your childhood toys sell for a fortune on eBay.
The sheer quantity of gold in your mouth would make a decent retirement plan.
Your parties never even wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.
Sucking
in your gut can blow the hair right off the top of your head.
When you sit and relax on a park bench, boy scouts offer to help you cross … your legs.
When you sit and relax on a park bench, boy scouts offer to help you cross … your legs.
Not
wearing a bra tugs the wrinkles right out of your face.
Just saw this headline: "Godzilla turns 60." Life was pretty good before I knew I was OLDER THAN GODZILLA.
It took me awhile, but I’m finally a 60-year-old senior. How much longer till graduation?
Two of the most important things in life are bowel movements and nose hair.
Birthday thrills: more pills, more chills, more bills.
You can start bragging about your age. How else are you going to get your senior discounts?
“Chasing girls” refers almost exclusively to granddaughters.
Turning 60? Look on the bright side: you’re still younger than Mick Jagger.
I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again. But I wouldn’t mind looking like one.
Today’s post is
a writing challenge. This is how it works: each month one of the participating
bloggers pick a number between 12 and 74. All bloggers taking part that month
are then challenged to write using that exact number of words in their post
either once or multiple times.
Just saw this headline: "Godzilla turns 60." Life was pretty good before I knew I was OLDER THAN GODZILLA.
It took me awhile, but I’m finally a 60-year-old senior. How much longer till graduation?
Two of the most important things in life are bowel movements and nose hair.
Birthday thrills: more pills, more chills, more bills.
You can start bragging about your age. How else are you going to get your senior discounts?
“Chasing girls” refers almost exclusively to granddaughters.
Turning 60? Look on the bright side: you’re still younger than Mick Jagger.
I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again. But I wouldn’t mind looking like one.
Today’s post is
a writing challenge. This is how it works: each month one of the participating
bloggers pick a number between 12 and 74. All bloggers taking part that month
are then challenged to write using that exact number of words in their post
either once or multiple times.
This month’s
word count number is: 60
It was chosen
by: ME!
At the end of
this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check
them all out, see what numbers they got and how they used them.
Links to the
other Word Counters posts:
Older than Godzilla and younger than Mick Jagger, I think those two cancel each other out.
ReplyDeleteSmiling. I would HATE to be a teenager again though.
ReplyDeleteThis is true (and both spouse and I are past 60): today we passed a political lawn sign asking us to vote for "A". Turned to my husband and said "I know "A" is dead; he was a really good (title of office he held.) This must be his son." And then husband reminded me that a candidate for a different position is the son of a man who held office for many years here. Feeling really old right now.....can identify so with your post.
ReplyDeleteHeeheehee! Wonderful, and many happy returns of the day to your brother.
ReplyDeleteWhen Brother-in-Law was still in his 30's, he complained a lot about "his colon." Then a smart lady we knew got him to stop by telling him that we know he's getting old because he talked more about his colon than his sex life. He's well over 60 now and still keeps quiet about his colon!
And by now you will have seen that i nominated you for a blog award, please don't feel obligated, but your writing really does inspire me.
DeleteIt will be interesting to see what you have to say when you turn 80!
ReplyDeleteThese days I am a lot closer to 70 than I am to 60. I like to believe I am still spry, but most days I know I'm just fooling myself.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha!
ReplyDeleteLove Chris