Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Join the Army--Get an Education

SupErik to the rescue
Drawn by Erik in Grade Nine
During Math class.
Don't ask.
Guest Post by Sergeant Erik Tolley

Upon first sight, the army looks real cool.
The recruiting posters depict big, brawny, attractive soldiers (and strong, beautiful women soldiers, too) all dressed up in their warpaint and carrying automatic weapons and squelching about in the mud as if they're doing something constructive and enjoying it, too.
The posters usually include some sort of catchphrase like "Join the Army  - See the World" and "Be a Part of the Armed Forces, and You Could Look Like One of These Attractive Young Soldiers, Instead of the Lumpy, Greasy, Smelly, Disgusting Couch Potato You Are", which usually makes you want to improve your lifestyle by joining the army and squelching about in the mud, wearing warpaint and carrying an automatic weapon.
Unfortunately, the thought that mud, grease, and gunpowder don't necessarily improve your lifestyle all that much usually doesn't occur to people until after they're actually in the army.
This is why most civilians think that soldiers are idiots.
They are.
I can speak from experience on this one.
I'm an idiot and I'm in the army.
Enough said.
I first decided to join when I saw an ad in the newspaper. If I hadn't seen it, I might have gone on to lead a normal productive life. I might even have been a manager at an A & W restaurant by now. (A management position at McDonald's being too ambitious for me).
But such was not my destiny.
Oh, well.
When you first go into the recruiting center, they ask you what trade you were thinking of.
At this point, you blurt out whatever first comes into your head, because the only part of the army that you've ever heard of is the Infantry, and you don't want to stand there looking like an indecisive idiot while the paperwork-person stares at you.
So, you say Infantry.
Fortunately, the paperwork-person has seen dozens of morons like you every day since he or she joined the army, and he or she will give you a cute little pamphlet with another attractive picture and catchy slogan on the front, which outlines the basics of all the different trades in the army.
This will help you to decide better what you want to be, otherwise, the army would be made up of thousands of Infantry soldiers.
And one clerk named Homer.
Strangely, this little pamphlet doesn't point out the actual tasks that you would be forced to carry out in an actual war zone, such as getting shot and tortured.
For clarity, I have provided you with a little more information that will be invaluable in determining which trade to choose, or rather, which trades to avoid.
To be Continued . . .

8 comments:

  1. Erik, You sound like a young man after my own heart... loved this. Maybe consider becoming a writer? Good luck in whatever you do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Truth. And almost all advertisements are designed to deceive us, no matter what they say...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Erik, you should have met my husband before he enlisted (in the Air Force) at age 23. I am so looking forward to your "further information". And also, you're a good artist! I do want to ask!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I see a lot of Geometry in that drawing so of course it was done in Math class :)
    My first husband was in the Army, Australian style. I spent far too many years seeing far too much Khaki.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aha! The curtain is being drawn back!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very well said! You don’t really know what a career is going to do for/to you until you’re there....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Very well said! You don’t really know what a career is going to do for/to you until you’re there....

    ReplyDelete
  8. My daughter is a Sergeant in the US Army Reserves/Louisiana National Guard. She went for medic, and is studying to become a nurse.

    You are doing important work for your country, no matter what else you say, and i hope your family members are proud of you.

    ReplyDelete

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