I'm going to call them parent-isms.
The things parents tell their kids.
Some of which are true.
My Husby's dad was known for his
parentisms.
He had his kids convinced that he could
measure their potential – with a yard stick.
He'd hold the yard stick near them and
announce that their ability was 'nigh onto nothing'.
Fortunately, they didn't believe him.
He was also famous for asking them if
they'd rather 'be dumber than they look or look dumber than they
were'.
His victim would choose one or the
other and he would grin and say, “How could you be?”
Which would result in a heated glare.
And just widened his grin.
He also convinced his children to eat
carrots.
Lots of carrots.
By telling them that if they did, they
could see better.
Okay, I know that all of us were
informed that we would be able to see better if we ate our carrots.
Even in the dark.
But he took it just that much further.
His exact words?
Not only would they see better in the
dark, but they would be able to see through hills in the dark.
And at least one of his children
believed that one.
For years, my one-day-husby-to-be would
peer into the night, trying desperately to see through hills.
He never did.
But he sure ate his carrots.
Sometimes, when his kids were with him
in the yard, Husby's Dad would stoop and pick up a small pebble. Then
hand it to the nearest child with the words, “Suck on this. The
flavour will come.”
They caught onto that one fairly fast.
After trying it only a time or two.
Or three.
But the dreaded phrase for which he is
most famous? “Go get the switch.”
This only occurred during moments of
extreme stress.
When a misdemeanour was grave.
I should point out that 'the switch'
was a long willow branch.
Kept in the garage.
And that the culprit had to go and
fetch it.
Hand it to his father.
Then wait for punishment to be meted
out.
Sigh.
The culprit would take the 'long
route'.
Through the barn.
Around the corrals.
Through the chicken coup.
And the pig pen.
Past Grandma's.
And finally into the garage.
Emerging with the dreaded willow
switch.
By this time, having already suffered
agonies.
Husby's Dad didn't have to do anything
more.
He would make a light, token swipe at
legs or bottom, then hand the switch back with the words “don't do
it again”.
And they didn't.
What parentisms did your parents use on
you?
