1. There
once was a sweet little girl. Her name’s unknown. Because she always wore a
red-hooded cloak made by her mother, she was just called Red Riding Hood.
2. Red
Riding Hood (or RRH for short and to save words), was always very happy to help
her mother. And, by association, grandmother, who lived in the woods.
3. One
fine day, RRH, carrying a basket of goodies, was wending (Oooh! Good word!) her
way to said grandmother’s house to supply aid and/or sweet treats as needed.
4. Along
the way, she was met by a Wolf who was not only Big and Bad (note the capital
letters), but also could converse quite well in human.
5. Sooo…not
your normal wolf by any stretch of the imagination.
He
asked her where she was going and RRH, being a bright, friendly, albeit naive child,
told him.
6. He
smiled and waved her off, then, being Crafty as well as Big and Bad, took a
shortcut through the woods, arriving at Grandmother’s just ahead of RRH.
7. What
transpired when he and Grandmother met is unclear. Perhaps he gobbled her up. Poor
choice. Everyone knows senior citizens are high in cholesterol and low in fiber.
8. Regardless
of what happened, their interaction culminated in his weird wearing of the elderly
woman’s nightgown and sitting in her bed when the sweet, unsuspecting
RRH arrived.
9. There
followed a dialogue consisting of questions and answers designed to ferret out
the truth. And which ended with BBCW (see above) chasing RRH around the cabin.
10. A
local woodcutter, heading home for the day, heard RRH’s shrieks, arriving just
in time to see her bash BBCW over the head with the aforementioned treat
basket.
11. Now,
normally, this would have been passed over as a fairly amusing attempt to waylay
someone as powerful as the BBCW. Except for the fairly heavy honey pot.
12. If
any of you have had the misfortune of dropping one of those suckers on your
toe, you know the damage they can do. Even at low speeds.
13. This
one laid the BBCW out pancake flat. So flat, the bulge in the critter’s belly became
noticeable. Did anyone bet on the ‘gobbled up’ story? You just won.
14. The
woodcutter, possessing—you know—woodcutting…stuff…immediately slit open that
belly and, what do you think? Out popped a very disgruntled and rather untidy,
but totally alive Grandmother!
15. Then
the three of them found several large stones and filled that greedy belly with
them. Because nothing says ‘full and satisfied’ like a belly full of rocks.
16. Then
Grandmother, possessing the skills, sewed that old belly shut quick as a wink. (Of
course blood, gore and correct bodily functions have no place in fairy tales.)
17. The
BBCW, when he awoke, felt full and satisfied (see 15) but extremely thirsty.
He made his way to a nearby stream where he bent for a drink.
18. But
those wretched rocks shifted (they’re quite unpredictable you know, rocks) and
pulled him into and underneath the clear water. And there and then, the BB(not
so)CW drowned.
19. I’m
quite sure that RRH, her mother and grandmother and even the woodcutter really
didn’t want this for the BBCW. What can I say? He made poor choices.
20. So,
something to think about. If laziness and craftiness try to inhabit the same
sphere, laziness will win. Or actually—lose. However you want to look at it.
Word Counters is a totally fun word
challenge.
This month, the number of words
allowed? 28. Chosen by: ME!
Care to see what the others in the
challenge have created?
Baking In A Tornado
Messymimi’s Meanderings
