Fowl Language

A woman wished to buy her husband something really neat,

To celebrate his birthday and to show him he was sweet.

She knew that he liked birds so to the bird shop she did go,

To find a wondrous gift that on her man, she could bestow.

While there she saw a lot of birds, some colourful, some plain,

(She needed something really grand, so he would not complain.)

The salesman showed her one, he said, was smarter than the rest,

She cocked her head and looked at it, then tried a little test.

“Pretty bird,” she whispered. “Pretty bird. Please say it now.”

“Well, *bleep*!!” The old bird shouted. “Why’d I want to anyhow?!”

The woman blinked, then smiled and said, “This is the one for me.”

“I’ll take the cage as well and then we'll see what we shall see!”

In the corner of the living room, she set the bird and cage,

To celebrate her husband’s advent into middle age.

When he came home, he took one look, said, “What the heck is this?”

“Your birthday gift,” his good wife said. “Now come give me my kiss.

 “He’s smart,” his wife went on to say. “I know you will be glad!”

“Nice bird!” the old guy told her. “Well, I guess it ain’t that bad.

“Hey, fella! Gotta name?” he asked. “I think I’ll call you Fred.”

His new pet turned and looked at him. “*Bleep* off,” the old bird said.

“I won’t have this! I’ll show you!” said the husband, now enraged,

He grabbed, then stuffed, him in the fridge (instead of in his cage).

“This will show you!” Husband barked. “I’ll frost your beak a mite.

“And perhaps when you’re released you’ll be a little less ‘forthright’.”

A short time hence when Fred came out, said shak’ly, “I admit,

“It’s cold as *bleep* in there and I don’t like it one *bleep* bit.”

“Still swearing? Well, let’s see the freezer change your nasty tone!

“And if your words get better in the dark and cold alone!”

This time when Fred came out, and as he straightened frozen wings,

And clacked his frosty beak and picked some frost off toes and things,

He looked up cautiously at his new owner, and he said,

“Thank you for freeing me. In one more minute, I’d be dead!

“But could you answer just one question for me now, I pray?

“I have to ask…what the *bleepy-bleep* did the turkey say?”

Mondays do get knocked a lot,

With poetry, we all besought,

To try to make the week begin

With pleasant thoughts--perhaps a grin?

So all of us together, we,

Have posted poems for you to see.

Now go and see what they have done

I'm sure it will be lots of fun!

Jenny

MotherOwl

Mimi

And now you've seen what we have brought . . .

Did we help?

Or did we not?

Next week, it will be fun, I think,
Our topic is our favourite drink!
Thanks, Jenny!